5 Ways to Use your Indicator

There are many interesting ways to use your indicator.
You can drive your car to a four-way junction
And indicate completely the wrong way.
To do this properly
You require a traffic jam of vehicles,
Several pedestrians, some school children,
A crossing guard, a lot of other drivers beeping their horn
And one idiot behind the wheel.

Or you can take a blue-collar worker,
Wearing torn clothes in the traditional way
And refuse to bother indicating at all.
But for this you need a white van,
Lots of tools in the back,
At least two men in the front making rude gestures
And the ability to annoy every other driver on the road.

Dispensing with white van men, you may, if you can
Find a Rover and elect to indicate only when there is no turn-off at all.
But then you need
Miles of countryside sliced through with a single road,
No passing places, a picnic basket,
Preferably a caravan, a mass of grey heads, a dozen suitcases on top
And some flat caps made of cloth.

In an age of motorways, you may fly
Miles along the fast lane, keeping
Your right indicator on all the time. All you then
Require is some other nervous drivers,
Several inexperienced drivers, a policeman and
A driving license you won't need for several months.

As I said, these are many interesting ways
To use your indicator. Simpler, direct and much more neat
Is to see that you will shortly need to make a turn, put your
inidicator on and leave it on (until you've turned).

Acknowledgements to Edwin Brock's "5 Ways to Kill a Man"